


Not Getting Any Younger

by I_llbedammned



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-24 22:41:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2599202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_llbedammned/pseuds/I_llbedammned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil and Melinda talk about the future in the wake of all the wreckage they have been through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Getting Any Younger

The sound of cicadas surrounded the two agents as they stood around the mouth of the freshly filled grave. Well perhaps calling it a grave was a bit generous since it was a small hole filled with the burnt remains of the agent that they previously had worked closely beside, but it was the only word they had. Phil and Melinda stood for a bit in the stark silence of the grave before Phil broke the silence.

"Never gets any easier, does it?" he asked rhetorically.

She shook her head, "Can't say that it does." She moved her head away from the grave, "Come on, we have to get going."

Phil turned away with a heavy sigh, "I know you're right. Staring won't make him come back." He dragged his feet as he walked away, feeling like he was leaving part of himself behind as he walked. Slowly he let his gaze drift upwards to the starts that glittered overhead.

"You ever think about getting out?"

Melinda looked at him sideways, "This must've hit you hard if you're talking like this."

He laughed a little, "Yeah, it's not every day that you see someone that young die in such a brutal way. It makes you think about where you stand in your own life and where you are going."

"You've been through brutal deaths before. You guided me through my own blood bath and have been through your own. What makes this so different?"

"He was lot younger than the others."

"You were a lot closer, it's making you blind."

"I was old enough to be his father."

May had to laugh at that, "With the amount of new recruits we keep working with that hardly is a distinguishing trait." A pained look crossed over Phil's face and she stopped her tracks, "The age thing is really getting to you. Why? Be honest with me Phil."

"It's just-" he paused, thinking of the right words to say, "We're not getting any younger, May. Every day we keep running, fighting the good fight, and trying our best, but how much longer can we keep doing this for? Eventually something has to give; we can't just keep fighting forever."

"So you're worried we're going to get too old to do the job?"

He shook his head, "It's more than that. We keep fighting and what do we have to show for it? There's no legacy- hell there's barely a S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore, no retirement package waiting for us at the end of this. I've given everything for this organization, my life included." Another pause while his mouth worked over words but no sound came out, "What if that's all for nothing?"

May's voice softened, "You know you can't continue down that path, Phil. When you start thinking of all the places that you could have possibly ended up then you'll only end up in dark places. The only way to go is forward, not back."

"I know," he said obliquely, his eyes still on the stars.

"But you're still not convinced." She answered, walking a bit closer to him.

"I'm trying to be. It's just a lot to think about. Been thinking for months and I still have no answers."

"Hey,” She put a hand on his shoulder, "the world has been saved countless times because of you. It's not everyone that can say that they met and inspired all the Avengers to kick ass."

Maybe it was the night air doing funny things to his mind or maybe it was just accumulation of months of grief building up to a critical mass, but Phil started to laugh. He laughed at Loki's scepter going through him, he laughed at the burned bodies that he had to wade through, he laughed at the alien blood running through his veins against his will and invasion of H.Y.D.R.A.. Tears started flowing down his cheeks somewhere in his hysterics and he leaned up against May. Unconsciously she began to laugh but it was a joyless laugh, leading him forward in small steps as he leaned upon her arm.

By the time they got to the car the laughter had subsided and he felt somehow lighter than he did before. He straightened himself up, wiping the tears from his eyes and, "I don't know what just happened, but I think I needed that."

She returned his gaze with a small grin, "We all need to break down now and again. Just don't make a habit of it."

He laughed, pulling his arm off of her, "I make no guarantees."

"Get in the car. I'm driving."

Phil got in, understanding that was Melinda's way of saying that she would be there for him. He turned on the radio and "November Rain" began to play. They both lapsed into a calm silence and let the song play, covering up the cicadas with the blare of electric guitar.


End file.
